“What can I do? And “How can I make a difference”, are the questions we should be asking ourselves every day, and NOT: “Why is this happening to me (us)?”.
How can I get back on the success road? How do I create my "new norm"?
People with great positive attitudes seem to be more successful, happy and hopeful than those who only see the problem. This then follows from my blog “2021, a Year of Hope” where we established that being below the chain is dis-empowering and imprisoning, while above the chain leads to growth, success and hope.
So how do we transition from being imprisoned by our thoughts, to having hope?
It has all to do with our “attitude”. Some people liken it to a victim, or victor, frame of mind. But what leads to a change in attitude of being a victim, to becoming a victor?
This is not easy, and often only happens with someone assisting you, because you are feeling depressed, hard done by, there is no way out, etc.
We need to understand for a start, that no-one else, and nothing else, can MAKE you feel anything! You CHOOSE your emotion. Outside factors can have an impact on how you feel, if you allow them. But, essentially you choose happy or sad, failure or learning experience, victim or character building.
So how can you choose to be positive; how do you become a solution finder, rather than giving up?
Nick Vujicic, in his book “Life without Limits”, shares what helped him change his outlook on life.
He suggests that we develop 4 new attitudes:
Attitude of forgiveness
Attitude of gratitude
Attitude of Empathy
Attitude of action
Let us take a look at each one.
1. Attitude of forgiveness:
Stop blaming others. Rather forgive whoever you believe had a hand in your situation. As long as you blame, you cannot begin to see new opportunities.
Stop making excuses. Forgive yourself for causing the situation (no matter what), and start using your strengths and skills for a new beginning.
2. Attitude of gratitude
Every day and in every situation find something to be grateful for,
Find something to be grateful for, even in the worst situation. I.E. If you lost your job, be grateful for the skills you have, to help you find another job, or better still create your own job.
Be grateful for what you do have, and stop complaining about what you don’t have. Say thank you to God for the skills, and ask for wisdom to use them to help others. This brings us to the next attitude.
3. Attitude of Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand the needs and emotions of others.
When you start looking out for others needs, you will stop feeling sorry for yourself.
When you identify the needs of someone else you have an opportunity to assist them. This leads to the final attitude:
4. Attitude of action
If you started the process: being forgiving; showing and expressing gratitude for what you do have; and identifying the needs of others, you would be at a point of deciding to do nothing, and allow some one else to suffer, or step into action and find ways of assisting them.
Action attitude is being willing and committed to doing what you see is needed. Stepping into the light.
Congratulations! You have just become an engineer of your own future, and not a poor victim.
Comments